photo: http://www.nndb.com/people/953/000043824/paul-lynde.jpg
Biography
Q: What is a "dual purpose cow?"
Lynde: It gives milk and cookies. But I wouldn't recommend the cookies.
Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics. What is the other?
Lynde: Tape measures.
Q: Why do the Hells Angels wear leather?
Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles so easily.
Q: Is there such a thing as a female rooster?
Lynde: Yes, they're the ones who go a doodle-doo.
Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What will a goose do?
Lynde: Make him bark.
Q: Why would you throw a lemon down a garbage disposal?
Lynde: Because it was very, very naughty.
Q: True or false: Roma legend has it that God made the people of the world in a large oven.
Lynde: (looks at Leslie Uggams) Looks like you were overcooked.
Q: What do you do if you are driving downhill and your brakes give out?
Lynde: Honk if you love Jesus.
Q: Can you get an elephant drunk?
Lynde: Yes, but he still won't go up to your apartment.
Q: What will bring tears to a monkey's eyes?
Lynde: Learning that Tarzan swings both ways.
Q: Which is better looking, a pixie or a fairy?
Lynde: I'll go for the fairy.
Q: Who are more likely to be romantically responsive. Women under thirty or women over thirty?
Lynde: I don't have a third choice?
Q: What is said to be wasted on the young?
Lynde: A whipping.
Q: What is the most abused and neglected part of the body?
Lynde: Well, mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.
Q: If the right part comes along, will George C. Scott do a nude scene?
Lynde:You mean he doesn't have the right part?
Q: Roy Rogers has something stuffed and mounted in his study. What is it?
Lynde: Oh no, not Miss Dale!
TV Work
The Red Buttons Show (regular performer in 1955)
Stanley (1956–1957)
The Perry Como Show (regular performer from 1961–1963)
Bewitched (Recurring character Uncle Arthur 1965–1971)
The Hollywood Squares (center square from 1968–1981)
Dean Martin Presents the Golddiggers (regular performer from 1968–1969)
The Cattanooga Cats (1969–1971) (voice)
The Perils of Penelope Pitstop (1969–1971) (voice)
Gidget Grows Up (1969)
Where's Huddles (1970) (voice) (canceled after 10 episodes)
Gidget Gets Married (1972)
The Paul Lynde Show (1972-1973) (26 episodes ABC-TV)
New Temperatures Rising (cast member from 1973–1974)
The Paul Lynde Halloween Special (1976)
Paul Lynde at the Movies (1979)
Filmography
New Faces (1954) (also writer)
Son of Flubber (1963)
Bye Bye Birdie (1963)
Under the Yum Yum Tree (1963)
For Those Who Think Young (1964)
Send Me No Flowers (1964)
Beach Blanket Bingo (1965)
The Glass Bottom Boat (1966)
How Sweet It Is! (1968)
Charlotte's Web (1973) (voice)
Journey Back to Oz (1974) (voice)
Hugo the Hippo (1975) (voice)
Rabbit Test (1978)
The Villain (1979)
